Hilda - Snow White revisited Read online

  The queen eyed the table and what was on it and repressed the revulsion. She was mean but her stomach was tender. She could barely stand the sight of this flabbergasting amount of food, nor the smell of it, so early in the morning.

  She gave in though. "Very well." She slumped down with a sigh. The servants brought her water, her yoghurt and the oats and raisins that she usually had for breakfast.

  Walt looked at the skimpy assortment of edibles on her side of the table. "Is that all you eat?"

  "Yes, dear. That is all I eat. Why?"

  "Now I know why you're so skinny," Walt said, charging another piece of chicken.

  The queen snorted, but the sound went unnoticed by the king. "Why are you out of bed so early?", she asked the man with the sticky fingers, ignoring the assault on her figure that she was so proud of..

  "Oh, I am going to get you a few nice surprises," Walt said. "A bit of things to cheer you up, and to thank you."

  The queen froze. "Thank me? For what do you want to thank me?" Her mind raced, trying to find anything, even the slightest, smallest and most insignificant thing that might have given him reason for this. She liked surprises, but she would be damned if she wasn't going to find out what they were for.

  Walt got up and walked over to her. He put his grubby, fatty hands on the expensive table and leaned over to her. The queen instinctively leaned back. "For the things you've done for Snow-White."

  The mean queen's defenses shot up, as did her eyebrows. "I did nothing for Snow-White!"

  Walt shook his head, on his face an expression that showed what he hoped would be a caring and loving smile. "You are so good. You really don't want anyone to know, do you?" His heart swelled with pride over his wifey. Going out of her way to find the girl, and not making any deal of it.

  "I don't know what you're talking about," said the mean queen, "and I hope you will not bring this up again. I have to go. I have things to do." She pushed her chair back and ran out of the room, her breakfast mostly untouched.

  Hilda was up and at work early. She was on her third cup of tea already, the goldfish not commenting on anything they saw and heard. The flopping sound of the bunny-slippers on the floor was the only thing that occasionally interrupted her humming, muttering and giggling.

  Babs and she had come up with a bundle of great things to manifest at the witches meeting on Scary Mountain, and she had dedicated this entire morning to preparations. The crystal ball was on her worktop, the connection to the house of Baba Yaga open. That way it was easy for them to exchange ideas, recipes and gossip.

  A knock on the door made Hilda grunt. "Babs, hang for a while, someone at the door."

  Gruesome cackling laughter came from the crystal sphere as Hilda shuffled to the door.

  Johan the mirror-maker almost lost his big package as he saw Hilda in the door-opening. "Uhm... good morning... uhm... honourable witch." He had serious trouble finding the word 'honourable' this time. Bunny-slippers, a house-coat with pictures of beheaded geese and a tea-cup with moving goldfish on it was a bit too much for an honest mirror-maker on this early morning.

  "Hi, silver-face, what's that?", Hilda pointed.

  "This is your second mirror. The one you ordered?" Johan was very careful. A wrong word could trigger the wrong thing. And with Hilda, wrong always had a very explicit meaning.

  "Oh. Right. Ehm, come in and put it down somewhere." She stepped aside and slurped from the cup as Johan came in.

  The mirror-maker found the nearest spot where he could put down the heavy mirror. Then he turned to Hilda and waited, with a smile.

  "What're you smirking at?", Hilda asked, hoping that he would scoot off fast so she could go on with the festive preparations.

  "Well, honourable witch, I had hoped that you could, in a way, reimburse me for the mirrors?" Johan was not sure if it was a safe thing to ask for money in a straight way.

  "Reimburse?" Hilda frowned. "Oh. You mean money?"

  Johan nodded.

  "Cripes, say so man, instead of throwing riddles at me." She reached into the pocket of her house-coat and dug up a handful of gold and silver coins. "Something like that? Come here, pick out what you need and then leave."

  Johan's hand trembled as he carefully selected three gold and one silver coin. That would be about ten times the price he would charge. Then he put one gold coin back. "This is enough, honourable witch," he said, bowing.

  "Sure? You seemed nervous. Here, take the lot, it's too heavy in my pocket anyway." Hilda slapped the rest of the coins in his hand. "Now get lost, I'm busy."

  Johan did his utmost to get lost in an expedient way.

  Hilda looked at the wrapped mirror. "Not now." Then she returned to the crystal ball. "Right, girl, I'm back. Where were we..."

  Back at the castle the mean queen sat in her hidden room, chewing her nails and pondering over the hints that Walt had dropped. What did he know? The pointers he had left were too obvious, he was clearly suspecting something. Maybe he should have an apple also...

  The queen looked at the apples on her table. They looked perfect. Snow-White would not be able to resist them. One would be enough. Satisfied over her work, she opened her wardrobe closet and started rummaging through the clothes...

  When she was done, she was unrecognisable. A blond wig hid her black hair. She had put something on her face to make her look more tanned. The clothes she wore made her look a great deal younger than she was. And boyish. The queen was certain that this approach would be best. Twice she got to the house of the dwarfs as a woman, and that might cause suspsicion with the child. So a boy it would be. She took a basket and put the apples in it.

  "Now let's get this over with, the strap's killing me." She had put a strap around her chest, otherwise her attempt to look like a man would be completely destroyed by her bosom. The queen stepped out of her chambers, basket in hand, and started down the corridor when one of the more voluptuous maids saw her. The queen's disguise worked, because the maid saw a him.

  "Oy, what are you doing there? Stealing apples?" The maid launched a charge towards the queen, who did not know how fast she had to run down the corridor, clasping the basket against her to make sure the apples would stay in it. At a neckbreak speed she hurtled down the stairs and once she reached the main hall she sped through that and out the large door as if shot from a bow.

  The queen did not stop running until she was away from the castle grounds. Finally she dared to stop and catch her royal breath. She was not used to this kind of physical exertion, let alone being chased through her own castle whilst being accused of theft.

  The massive maid had given up the chase already halfway down the stairs. She was even less used to physical exertion and had many more pounds to carry with her.

  The queen caught her breath and found a place where carts were being loaded up. One of them was being filled with coal, one with fruit, one with pigs, and so on.

  "Is anyone here going to the land of the dwarfs, over the hill?", the queen asked.

  "Yeah, I do. Why? Want a ride?", one big scruffy man said.

  "If possible, yes." The queen was proud she kept her role as a boy so well.

  "Okay. Help load up the coal and you're on."

  "The... coal..." The mean queen looked at the three black men that were slaving to get bucket after bucket of black and dusty coal into the cart.

  "Yeah. Either that or you get to ride on my knee for a while," the man barked, "your choice."

  The queen was not sure what the ride on the knee implied, but judging from the gory laughter of the other men it did not mean much good, so she put down the basket and started helping the three men. Soon after that there were four black figures loading the last bit of coal.

  Some rags were handed around, so everyone could wipe their faces and hands a bit. That was a problem for the queen, as she would also wipe the tanning potion from her face. Very careful she dabbed her face a bit and that was it.

  Her unwillingness to clean herself u
p better earnt her a place in the coal when the cart moved out.

  People laughed at her as she sat in the black rubble, coughing from the dust that was still flying around. But the carts moved out, and she was on her way to the house where her enemy was still alive. But, she thought with grim pleasure, not for long.

  12. An apple a day...

  Despite her still throbbing head and a slightly 'over-used' feeling somewhere else, Snow-White had gotten up and had started doing her chores. The beds were made, the trash had been thrown out, and she now sat at the table, drinking some herbal tea. Doc had said it would help, but the healing wasn't really kicking in yet.

  She had gone through drinking a lot of water also, even tried another beer, but that had proven to be the worst idea yet.

  As sitting for a long time gave her slight trouble, Snow-White got up again and sauntered over to the window. She peeked outside and was surprised to see a boy sitting there, leaning against a tree. She giggled as she noticed how black and dirty he was.

  The boy seemed to notice her looking, because he smiled. His teeth were clearly visible against the black surroundings that made up his face. He even waved at her.

  Snow-White waved back. After a moment of thought she opened the door, only a small bit. "Hey, you. What are you doing there?"

  "I am sitting here," was the answer. "Resting."

  "Oh. Why are you so black?" Snow-White was a bit curious at times.

  "I worked at a cart, loading coal. Coal is black, you know."

  Snow-White nodded, she had seen that icky stuff several times. "I know."

  "Hey you, inside. Do you think you could spare me some water? I'm thirsty." That was true. The queen had been on the load of coal all the time, getting dust in her throat, and all the way long she had not had a single drop of water to drink.

  Snow-White was already running and less than a minute later she was outside, a cup of water in her hand. She gave it to the boy, very carefully to avoid becoming as black as he was.

  "Thank you," the boy said and drank down all the water quickly. As he handed back the cup, that Snow-White took with two fingers, he said: "Hey, want an apple?"

  The queen, because that was of course who the boy was, held up the basket. The cloth she had put over the apples had protected them, they were still red and bright and shining.

  Snow-White immediately lusted after one of them. "Squeee!", she said, thrilled by the sight of such goodies. As good as the dwarfs were with many things, this was something they had not supplied her with. "Are you serious?"

  "Sure, take one. You got me water, right? This way I can do something back."

  Snow-White picked the biggest, reddest and most shiny apple from the basket. She looked at it, almost in awe. "Thank you." She smelled the apple. It smelled like an apple. "You know, I shouldn't be out here, so if you don't mind I am going back inside and eat the apple there."

  "You do that. Enjoy the apple..." The boy's voice faltered in glee and anticipation.

  Snow-White ran into the house and slammed the door behind her. She felt proud of how she had handled the situation. She put the cup with the black streaks on the floor and then took in the apple. How she had missed apples. With her eyes closed, the girl raised the apple to her mouth, opened her mouth and slowly took a big bite.

  Her teeth sank into the apple, cutting through the outer skin and sliding through the good stuff. The juice of the apple streamed into Snow-White's mouth. The piece of apple broke off, as she bit down harder. This was the moment, she thought.

  The black boy, who was the mean queen, was peeking in through the window. This was the moment, she thought.

  The apple did its work. The fruit from the tree known as Malus Domesticus or apple tree, as soon as it came in contact with saliva, started to expand. As Snow-White was at that moment swallowing a piece, the expanding fruit got stuck in her throat

  "Suck an elf!", Hilda screamed at her mirror. She saw the whole thing happen and was unable to do something about it quickly. This kind of stuff required proximity, and that was what she did not have at this very moment. She ran through the house, put on clothes and shoes, grabbed a hat, wondered why the hell she did that, threw the hat back, raced to the broom-rack, took the one she liked best for speed and with that in hand she quickly left the house.

  "Are you-", the house started, as Hilda jumped on the broom and dashed off. "Yes. You are leaving."

  Hilda pushed the broom to its limits. She knew this was a dangerous thing. The bristles of the broom provided its stability; riding a broom at these insane speeds could make the bristles break off, turning the whole thing into an unstable stick, usually with devastating endings.

  Luckily the broom was a golden oldie, a tough one that could handle a beating. By the time Hilda arrived over the house of the dwarfs, there was no sign of the black person. Hilda was certain that this had been the queen again.

  Sharply turning, she made a perfect landing on both feet, dropped the broom and magicked the door open. Rather rudely the door shoved the suffocated princess to the side, but this was an emergency and Hilda was not squeamish.

  The wicked witch looked at the apple and recognised the signature of the queen in it. The combination of potions and poison was exactly how she would go about this.

  "Right, Grimmy, quick thinking and fast acting," Hilda said to herself as she tapped the palm of her free her hand with her wand. Fast she ran down the list of option she could think of, which was rather a short list. She took the second option, as this meant another option to get at the queen. The first option, doing nothing, was not an option.

  Hilda used a long and complicated spell. In English, so she knew she'd get it right in one go. The few extra seconds would not make a difference in this case. And it worked.

  The apple that was stuck in Snow-White's throat formed microscopic holes through which a minute amount of air could reach the girl's lungs. It would allow her to breathe and keep her body going, but that was all.

  The next part of her inpromptu plan involved boredom: she was going to wait until the dwarfs got home...

  The queen, gloating and overjoyed, had walked back to the road where she had jumped off the coal cart. From there she had started the walk back to the castle and had had the good fortune to be picked up by someone with a large wagon and some rags. She could ride along to the village, and use the rags to clean herself up a bit, which she did with a vengeance. She had already thrown away the blond wig, as that disguise was no longer needed.

  The cart took her to the village square where the queen crawled off the wagon, remembered to thank the driver and then headed back to the castle. This time she used the backdoor again. The servants who were in her way looked at her in a state of fright.

  "My queen! What happened to you?", one of them dared to ask.

  "You don't want to know. Go and run me a bath. A hot one. I am in dire need," she commanded.

  "Certainly, my queen." Somehow the servant had taught himself to run and bow at the same time, which made for a very amusing view.

  The queen strolled along at her leisure, giving the man a fair chance to get her bath in order. He wasn't bad looking, she thought, so maybe he could get something else in order also.

  Smiling she walked up the stairs, hoping that Walt would remain out of view for a while. The remainder of the week would be good.

  Hilda was about to gnaw off the end of her broomstick when finally she heard a number of feet shuffle about outside. She opened the door and saw the seven dwarfs.

  "Grimhilda?", Happy asked, "what're you doing here?"

  "Put a sock in it, before I do that, and come in. All of you." Hilda's voice told them that she did not want to wait. Before all of them had gotten inside, she was already explaining what she had seen, pointing at the body of Snow-White that was still on the floor, behind the door.

  "So, I have a plan. And you're going to listen and help me pull this off."

  Hilda laid out her plan to the dwarfs, who all
were quite shocked about seeing their girl on the floor and hearing Hilda's words of how this had come about, but the plan the wicked witch had was so ingenious that they began to radiate with the idea they were allowed to assist in it.

  "So y'all got that, right? Okay, I'm off to do my part, you do your part and we'll have a blast, I promise you."

  "Oh, certainly we will, Grimhilda," Bashful said, trying to hide behind Doc. "We will help you. Someone did something to our Snow-White..." He stared at the silent body behind the door for a moment.

  "Cool puppies," Hilda said. "I'm off. Good luck, I'll check in on you when I have time. See you around, boys."

  As Hilda took to the sky again, Doc wondered what a witch, even a wicked one as Hilda, would want with dogs that were cold.

  13. Riding with the king

  The wicked witch set course for the castle. She did not want the queen to notice her, so she put on the invisibility-shield as soon as she came near. She landed in the garden, put her broomstick against a tree and started walking around. Hilda was looking for a specific someone.

  After a few minutes, she heard him before she saw him.

  "That's good lads, I want the roses there, the blue whatever their names are there, and then the berry-bushes around it."

  "You mean the lilacs, my king?", another voice said.

  "Yes, them." Walt the king was designing the new flowerbed for his wife, the queen.

  Hilda looked at the scene from a distance. Walt was wearing his long red royal robe rolled up and tied around his impressive belly. His legs were hidden in big boots as he was walking around the gardeners in a wide circle, gesturing and directing. The witch grinned. Then she walked up to the small group of garden-improvers, dropping the shield as she approached.

  One of the gardeners saw her fade into existence, shrieked and fell into a rosebush. The others turned their heads into the direction the unfortunate man's finger was pointing.

  "Hi, king," Hilda said. "Can you spare me a moment?"